Greetings readers. After much thought, frustration, and throwing of tomatoes, I will be moving Please Change Disks to Continue...to Hubpages. Never fear, the same awesome quality you've seen here will still be available at the new location. Thanks for the awesome support all of you have given me so far, and I hope you join me for more wacky, lucha libre filled adventures on Hubpages. Till then, send us off DUCHOVNY!
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Monday, May 25, 2015
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Chuck Versus the List: The Ten Best Chuck Episodes of ALL TIME!
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What can I say about Chuck, Josh Schwartz and Chris Fedak's
ode to comedy and spy films? It's one of my favorite TV shows of all time, it's
one of the few things my brother and I actually agree on being great, and it
was yet another casualty of NBC not having a freaking clue how to produce an
audience. Oh, it also desperately deserves a movie, because how can a show that
had episodes named Chuck Versus So and So not have a feature length picture
named Chuck Versus the Movie? There's gold, and then there's liquid gold. Chuck
Versus the Movie is liquid gold.
Why am I bringing this up? Because I'm clearly about to write a column titled Chuck Versus the List. Hey, if I can do that type of thing for Community, why not for the Chuckster? So tonight, let's kick off the first edition of this bad boy with a look at the ten best Chuck episodes of all time! As with Community, let me caution you Chuck fans now; if you're favorite episode didn't make it, it doesn't mean I didn't like it. It just means there were too many great episodes. If it sounds like I'm trying to avoid you throwing fruit at me because I left "Chuck Versus the Cougars" off the list, it's because I am. Did it work? Probably not. ON WITH THE SHOW!
Chuck Versus the List
10. Chuck Versus the
Seduction
Makes the list for giving us national treasure Roan Montgomery,
the greatest thing John Larroquette has done since...alright it's the greatest
thing he's ever done. Bravo to him, writer Matthew Miller and director Allan
Kroeker for delivering such a memorable goofball in Roan. He's like James Bond,
if Bond was a Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas level alcoholic and was the
most inexplicable ladies man of all time. I'm still trying to decide which of
Roan's lines were the best, "Not you, Agent Frankenstein" or
"Don't encourage him! This isn't happy hour at Chilis". Like I said,
national treasure. Hello Diane indeed!
The series finale only at #9? Hey, much like Community,
every list involving Chuck is strong, which means some good/great things are
either left out or lower than you expect. Make no mistake though, this is a
great finale. Everything you'd want as a Chuck fan is here. Everyone parting on
great terms? Check. Jeffster performing a ridiculously awesome cover of aha's
"Take Me On"? Check. Call back to the very first episode of the show?
Check. THE RETURN OF THE WEINERLICIOUS?! Double check. This is everything you'd
want out of a series finale. Except of course that it was the finale. Chuck
Versus the Movie? Chuck Versus the Movie? Chuck Versus the Movie.
8. Chuck Versus the Ring
Part II
The culmination of Chuck's best season saw our hero finally
reach his potential. And what a way to do it, overcoming a near crippling brain
injury caused by the Intersect, the death of his father and the ultimate rat
bastard in Daniel Shaw. Freakin' Daniel Shaw; not since Riley Finn has there
been a TV character I've wanted more to GO AWAY! That character, by design I'm
pretty sure, was stiffer than a Kelly Slater surfboard, the opposite of Roan
Montgomery. That Chuck was able to finally rid us of him for what appeared to
be once and for all (Shaw returned in season five's "Chuck Versus the Santa
Suit"), while jamming to Jeffster's cover of "Shot Down in a Blaze of
Glory" to no less, is a master achievement. Also, wasn't it fun (and yet
semi-tragic) to watch the Buy More go up in flames? What a sad end to the saddest
place in the world.
7. Chuck Versus the
Nemesis
"Chuck Versus the Hard Imported Salami" may have
had the OMG moment in Chuck and Sarah finally
making out, but its follow up was the better episode. We get to see the
underrated Matt Bomer in an extensive, non flashback role for the first time,
and his Bryce Larkin is just as suave, infuriating and chill as you'd expect.
Perhaps most importantly however, we finally get to see Sarah wrestle with her
feelings over Chuck (while simultaneously wrestling with her lingering feelings
for Bryce). Which one will she choose? Will she choose? Add that to Black
Friday at the Buy More (one word; Pineapple), and you've got a winner on your
hands.
6. Chuck Versus the Push
Mix
Co-creator Josh Schwartz has said of this episode that it
contains the best ten minutes in the show's history. He's right. The finale of
"Chuck Versus the Push Mix" is a sight to behold, with Ellie and
Awesome welcoming their daughter into the world, Jeffster providing yet another
cover over the hospital loudspeaker, and, in the show's best moment, Chuck
proposing to Sarah in as quiet and intimate of a moment as you can imagine. The
rest of the episode is pretty good too, with Chuck's mother finally being freed
from the claws of Alexei Volkoff, Casey in the hospital, and Casey in the
hospital. You haven't lived till you've seen Casey deal with the romance
between Morgan and his daughter Alex. Great stuff.
5. Chuck Versus the
Cliffhanger
The season four finale features Chuck at his most badass,
going to great lengths to rescue Sarah from the now evil as hell Vivian
McArthur. Plus, Chuck finally fulfils his destiny of getting control of the Buy
More, has the Intersect suppressed out of his head and then watches Morgan get
the Intersect. Yup, Morgan with the Intersect. Great stuff. Oh, there's also
some sort of wedding. Not a huge deal, just some vows exchanged between your
favorite spy couple that took forever to get together. Nothing to get excited
over in the slightest!
4. Chuck Versus the
American Hero
Remember when I said season three of Chuck was the best
season of the show? "Chuck Versus the American Hero" occurs right in
the heart of it, a section of the show I'd like to call the Zenith of Chuck.
Seriously, from "Chuck Versus the Beard" to "Chuck Versus the
Other Guy" (and you could make the argument it goes further), the show
took off and became the sort of classic Once Upon a Time only dreams about
being. Larry Bird bows down to the middle of Chuck, season three.
Anyways, "American Hero", taking place towards the end of the run, is a tour de force. Chuck finally decides to win Sarah over for good, to mixed results. Awesome, Morgan and Casey (all with their own motivations) try to help Chuck to disastrous results. Lester and Jeff prove to be the LeBron James of stalking. And Daniel Shaw, with an assist from TV bad guy extraordinaire Mark Sheppard and 24 vet Roger Cross, gets one step closer to becoming interesting. All in all, you don't get much better than this. Except that you do, as this is only #4.
3. Chuck Versus the
Other Guy
Shouldn't this episode be titled "The One Where Chuck
and Sarah Finally Become Facebook Official"? Yes, this is the one where it
finally happens. Sarah kicks Shaw to the curb, confesses her love to a drunk,
Pretty in Pink quoting Chuck, and we all lived happily ever after. Alright, we
did that after Chuck shot Shaw in Paris and saved Sarah's life, but you get the
point. Also, Casey wiggled his way back in the NSA, Sheppard went off to yet
another unseen TV prison, and Morgan Grimes became an official government spy. But
who really cares? Chuck and Sarah got together! It was as if a million fan
fiction writers cried out in ecstasy and suddenly fell silent that day. If I
can quote General Beckman, it was about damn time.
2. Chuck Versus the
Beard
Any Chuck fan knows that the calling card of the show was a
mixture of pop culture comedy and gripping action. What also made the show
great though was its big heart, something "Chuck Versus the Beard"
proudly wears on its sleeve. Unable to flash and now losing Sarah to the
boring, humdrum grip of Shaw (who actually makes Sarah seem less interesting
than ever in this episode), Chuck is grounded at the Buy More by his team. By
chance, Ring agents infiltrate the Buy More and Castle, attempting to destroy
both in order to eliminate the Intersect. A rally is staged by the Buy More
employees (believing their store is being bought out) to the sound of
Jeffster's "Fortunate Son" cover, Chuck and Morgan try to stop the
Ring, and Morgan finally learns Chuck's secret. An absolute gem of an episode,
and the one that ultimately kick started Chuck on its historic run.
1. Chuck Versus Tom
Sawyer
Season three might've had Chuck's best stretch, season four
may have had the Chuck-Sarah marriage you always wanted, and season one may
have had the Sandworm from Dune. In the end, none of those seasons had the
music of the universe. "Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer" did however, and it
gets the top spot for being the symbol of what Chuck was; an action/comedy that
was as much about world playing Missile Command to Rush as it was saving the
world. Plus, have you seen the scene? It's so dope, it has actually inspired me
to try and beat video games while listening to "Tom Sawyer." Has it
worked? I plead the fifth.
That'll do it guys! Hope you enjoyed this list. I'll be back
with another one sometime soon. Till then, a gif of SUMMER in Chuck, Season 4.
Follow Cult @CultIcon
Email Cult at fallenhero17@yahoo.com
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Lucha Libre World Cup Preview Part 4 (with predictions)
Tweet me! @CultIcon
Alright guys, we've finally arrived to the final part of the
Lucha Libre World Cup preview. Today, we're going to take a look at the last
two teams, and then give some quick predictions for the show. Are you excited?!
You best be. Let's not waste anymore time. ON WITH THE SHOW!
Lucha Libre World Cup
Preview Part 4 (with predictions)
Team AAA
Members
El Hijo del Fantasma: Son of luchadore Fantasma, has worked
with CMLL, currently working in AAA and Lucha Underground, where he goes by the
name King Cuerno. Current AAA World Cruiserweight Champion, and the first after
unifying the belts last August.
El Texano Jr.: Son of former CMLL, AAA, WCCW and WCW
wrestler El Texano, brother of Super Nova. Was the longest and youngest reigning
AAA Mega Champion in history. Was 2015 Rey de Reyes winner. Currently wrestling
in Lucha Underground.
Psycho Clown: Son of Brazo de Plata, who was known to WWE
fans as Super Porky (that sound you hear is me angrily shaking my head at Vince
McMahon). Leader of the Los Psychos Circus stable with Monster Clown and Murder
Clown, where they are in their second reign as AAA Trios Champions. Also worked
for CMLL. Looks like Doink the Clown, acts like a cross between Doink and
Pennywise.
Wrestler You've Heard
Of
Fantasma. With Psycho Clown having no appearances in the
American wrestling landscape, that leaves Fantasma/Cuerno and Texano to duel it
out here. And while Texano has the AAA title reign (definitely noteworthy), his
LU run has been...it's been the equivalent of David Caruso leaving NYPD Blue
for movies that sucked. Sucked may be too strong of a word for Texano, but he
hasn't been as good as hoped. Thus, Fantasma/Cuerno takes this spot, as you've
heard of him and he hasn't disappointed. Plus, now you'll get to see how
different Deer Antlers is in a non Deer Antlers role. Fantasma is actually
supposed to be more his identity than Cuerno is (the only reason Fantasma
didn't use his AAA name in LU is because of copyright issues), so consider this
a first look in how he actually performs most of the time.
Alternate Universe Fantasma |
Chance of Victory
Good. Very good. The group is
made up of three solid AAA stars, Texano and Fantasma come in white hot from
their AAA runs and they're based in the promotion running the event. They're at
least getting into the third place match up.
The Dream Team
Members
Alberto El Patron: Son of Dos Caros, nephew of Mil Mascaras,
biggest star in lucha libre today. The current AAA Mega Champion, former two
time WWE Champion, former two time WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Royal Rumble
winner, Money in the Bank winner, numerous other accolades. Wrestled for CMLL,
currently also wrestling in Lucha Underground. The man, as if you couldn't tell.
Myzteziz: Brother of AAA and Lucha Underground star Argenis,
cousin of luchadore Magnus, nephew of CMLL booker Tony Salazar. Was the biggest
star in lucha libre in the mid 2000's while wresting for CMLL as Mistico, and
was considered by many to be the best wrestler in the world. Voted biggest box
office draw of the decade by the
Wrestling Observer. Wrestled for WWE as Sin Cara.
Rey Mysterio Jr.: Nephew of Rey Mysterio Sr., debuted at
only 14 years old. Wrestled for WCW and WWE in the United States, where he won
three world titles, four tag team titles, two Intercontinental titles and a
record setting eight cruiserweight titles. Returned to AAA this year to finish
his career, rumored to be heading to Lucha Underground. Considered by many to
be one of the greatest lucha libre stars of all time.
Wrestler You've Heard
Of
Mysterio. It's not a landslide, as all three men have
wrestled in the states, and El Patron is widely well known here himself (and is
definitely a bigger star in Mexico right now). But there's no comparing to
Mysterio. He wrestled here in the states for almost 20 consecutive years,
revolutionized the way Americans say lucha libre and is certainly a sure fire
WWE Hall of Famer sometime down the road if he wants it. Hell, I've been
watching Rey since I was a kid, first seeing him in WCW. This is the most well
known guy not just on this team, but in the entire tournament. I expect he and
El Patron will be the biggest reasons people by this show.
Chance of Victory
If these guys aren't the favorite, I don't know what you're
definition of favorite is. This team will make the finals at worst, and I'm
just being kind to the other teams in setting expectations that low.
Alright, there's a breakdown of the teams. Now let's predict
the matches!
Top Bracket
Dream Team vs. Team
Noah
Poor Noah. I had them as a semi finals team when I first
started this breakdown. I was wrong. I'll literally move to Tokyo if the Dream
Team doesn't pull this one out. Winner: Dream Team
Team AAA vs. Team
ROH/LU
Unfortunate luck of the draw here for ROH/LU. They could've
been a second round team against Noah, All Japan or TNA/LU. Alas, they'll have
to settle for going home early. Unless you're really expecting AAA to get rid of their own team in the first round. Winner: Team AAA
Bottom Bracket
Team All Japan vs.
Team MexLeyendas
Yup, they put the two oldest teams against each other in the
first round. Who could've possibly guessed that?! I would say this would likely
be the worst match of the opening round due to everyone's age, but after watching
L.A. Park vs. La Parka last night, I'll never doubt anyone regardless of age
again. Probably why I'm going with the oldest team for victory. Now get off my lawn! Winner: Team
MexLeyendas
International Dream
Team vs. Team TNA/LU
We're in biased territory! To be honest, I don't need to be
biased to know that the International Dream Team is taking this one. I said
yesterday that I don't foresee Team TNA/LU making it too far, and I especially
don't see that now that they're going up against a team with two of LU/AAA's
hottest stars right now. Looks like I'll be cheering on into the second round!
Winner: International Dream Team
Second Round
Dream Team vs. Team
AAA
That's right, we're getting a match that looked like a
finals contender in the second round. Well done AAA, way to throw some
unpredictability into the mix. I'm very tempted to take a risk here and go with
Team AAA with some sort of screwy finish (all three guys are rudos after all),
but how on earth can you possibly bet against the Dream Team?! There's a reason
it's called the Dream Team after all. Thus, barring plan to jumpstart a huge
Triplemania feud here (which they can do later anyway), the top seed gets to
the Finals. Will be an awesome match, potentially the best of the night.
Winner: Dream Team
Team MexLeyendas vs.
International Dream Team
I think most people will go with the MexLeyendas here, so
the fans can see a spirited, fitting finale between the present day stars of
lucha libre vs. the past. NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND! I think AAA knows the best way
to generate an electric atmosphere for the Final is to have the rudo team get a
cheap victory to put more fans on the side of the Dream Team. Thus, look for El
Mesias to do something dastardly, and look for the International Dream Team to
make it to the finals. I'm totally not being biased and living in a dream world
right now! Winner: International Dream Team
Third Place Match
Team AAA vs. Team
MexLeyendas
The legends are taking this one in a close bout. What,
they're going to get something, might as well be this one. Look for a big
Triplemania feud to start from this. I'm going to say Dr. Wagner vs. Fantasma.
Winner: Team MexLeyendas
Championship Match
Dream Team vs. International
Dream Team
It will be electric, it will be fun, and it will be the top
contender for match of the night, along with the Dream Team-Team AAA match. I
expect we'll see a sudden death period here as well, likely between El Patron
and El Mesias. Who wins? As much as I'm rooting for the International Dream
Team and as tempted as I am to say they sneak out a win to a massive chorus of
boos, I can't go against the favorites. There would have to be a massive, and I
mean MASSIVE, Triplemania angle planned, and there's nothing I can see them
doing here that they can't do with a Dream Team victory. So I'm going to play
it safe, pick Patron to beat Mesias in sudden death, leading to the glorious
kick start of a Patron-Mesias angle that leads the Triplemania main event. Man,
do I hope I'm wrong here (GO INTERNATIONAL DREAM TEAM!). Winner: Dream Team
There you have it guys. That will wrap up the Lucha Libre
World Cup preview. Be sure to tune in tonight at 7 P.M. EST on IPPV to catch
all the great action. I'll be back tonight with something non lucha libre
related and will have full analysis on the World Cup tomorrow, perhaps even a
running diary (depends on if I can watch the show tonight or if I have to catch
it tomorrow). Till then, DUCHOVNY! Alright, so I didn't go that deep with the
closing line this time.
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Email Cult at fallenhero17@yahoo.com
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Saturday, May 23, 2015
The War of La Parka: A Lucha Libre Legend
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At the end of the day, there's nothing more important to
someone than their name. It means everything. You can take away money, you can
rob one of all prized possessions, but it would never be the same as robbing
someone of their name. You do that, and their reputation crumbles, their
identity falls apart, their life breaks down before their very eyes. A name
means everything, and it's the basis for the story I'm about to tell you.
Hopefully it doesn't kill the meaning to inform it's a pro wrestling story.
On June 6th, 2010, AAA
put together one of the most unique main events in the history of Triplemania,
the promotions biggest show of the year. It wasn't fought over a heavyweight
championship, it wasn't a massive multi man match for company control, it
wasn't even for a well built up secondary title. Instead, Triplemania's main
event was a battle over a name, a battle nearly two decades in the making that
had greatly affected the careers of both participants and the promotion that
created the name. It's a story not known to most wrestling fans here in the
states, and it's a story worth telling. So sit back, crack open a Pepsi and
settle in. This here is the tale of one lucha libre's great modern day feuds.
This is the War of La Parka.
Chapter 1: La Parka's
Many Masks
In 1992, frustrated by his ideas being shot down by CMLL
higher ups, former wrestler turned booker Antonio Pena created the promotion we
now know as AAA (Asistencia AsesorÃa y
Administración). Almost overnight, AAA became legitimate competition for CMLL,
largely due to Pena signing away talented young luchadores who had been held
down in favor of CMLL's old guard. One of the young luchadores Pena signed was
Adolfo Tapia, a 27 year old luchadore who had bounced around in the lower
levels of lucha libre since his debut in 1987. Having a brilliant mind for the
business, Pena created a new character for Tapia, one of a masked luchadore decked
out in a skeleton costume, a homage to costumes used in Day of the Dead
ceremonies. With that, La Parka was born.
L.A. Park, the original La Parka, in WCW |
Almost immediately,
the gimmick was a success. Tapia, it turned out, was a highly charismatic performer,
and he quickly one over the crowd due to his unique look and colorful
personality (La Parka famously strutted and danced his way to the ring, and
would often bring a chair with him that he would air guitar to). Think Shinsuke
Nakamura if he dressed up like Skeletor. For the next few years, La Parka
become one of the most popular luchadores in Mexico, and seemed destined to be
a top star for years to come. Alas, this was around the time the US was
beginning to take note of just how exciting a style lucha libre was. It wasn't
long till Tapia was noticed, and he and the La Parka gimmick bolted to the
States, first for a brief run with ECW and then a highly memorable run in WCW,
where La Parka would become the self proclaimed "chairman of WCW",
beat Randy Savage (it was in fact Diamond Dallas Page in the costume, not
Tapia, during that moment) and eventually get swallowed up whole by the awful
Vince Russo/Ed Ferreira era.
While Tapia was
having his run up north however, Pena came up with another idea. Since he was
the one who designed the La Parka gimmick, he held the rights to the character
in Mexico, allowing him to put someone else in the skeleton costume. Once
again, Pena chose a lesser known talent in Jesus Escobedo, who like Tapia had
more or less floated around before getting a shot in the suit. And wouldn't you
know it, Pena struck gold again, as Escobedo turned out to be just as
charismatic a performer as Tapia. For the next few years, La Parka Jr. (called
that on the belief that Tapia would return to AAA at some point) proved to be a
success for AAA, even as business had declined in the wake of luchadores
leaving for WCW and WWE.
Then the shit hit
the fan. In 2003, with WCW long gone and WWE having no interest in any
luchadore outside of Rey Mysterio and Ultimo Dragon, Tapia returned to Mexico.
The only problem was that he didn't return to AAA, opting to go to CMLL
instead. Pena, hurt by the decision and again, still owning the rights to the
character he created, filed a lawsuit against Tapia in order to prevent him
from using the La Parka name. It worked; despite having used the La Parka
character since its inception, Tapia was forced to give up the name and for a
time his classic appearance. He would go on to take the name L.A. Park (short
for La Autentica Park), while Escobedo had the Jr. dropped from his name and
officially became the new La Parka. The legal battle served as a double edge
sword. On one hand, the controversy, along with the popularity of both Tapia
and Escobedo, made fans clamor for a match between the two to see who indeed deserved
the right to be called La Parka. On the other, the lawsuit, and several
countersuits by Tapia that followed, seemingly burned the bridge between the
two parties, and when Pena died of a heart attack in 2006 without making peace
with Tapia, it appeared the dream match fans wanted was out of reach.
The new La Parka, signing autographs |
Chapter 2: The War Begins
If there's one thing
about the wrestling business however, it's that one must never say never. On
March 12th, 2010, AAA held their annual Rey de Reyes event, the lucha libre
equivalent of WWE's King of the Ring. The main story going into the show had
been the slow building feud between AAA owner Joaquin Roldan and his son
Dorian, who had broken away from his father and joined up with Mexican legend
turned invader Konnan. During the show, Dorian was seen talking to a man in the
shadows, promising that this was his time. After Konnan defeated Cibernetico,
Dorian and the man, dressed in a trench coat and his face concealed, came down
to the ring and disposed of El Mesias, who had come to Cibernetico's aid. In
one of the most shocking moments in AAA history, the man took off his disguise
to reveal himself to be L.A. Park making his first appearance in AAA in over
ten years. La Parka would come down to ring side moments later, and the two had
to ultimately be separated by security. Fans went nuts, and it was clear the
fight they had long wanted was within their reach.
Park would appear
again for AAA a week later at a TV taping, attacking La Parka and putting him
through a table. However, Park disappeared once more after that appearance, and
would go on to claim in numerous interviews that his appearance was a one off,
with him having nothing to prove now that he had taken care of, as he put it,
the "poor imitation." In reality, AAA had developed a well booked
work, intending to use the past issues between Park, La Parka and AAA to
captivate fans. It worked, and a month later Park had returned, attacking his nemesis once more.
The stage was set for a challenge, and La Parka, fed up with the attacks,
officially challenged Park to a match at Triplemania. Evidently because he's a
nice guy, he also threw in a catch; Park would get to pick the stipulation.
The two La Parka's face off |
Now I don't know
about you, but it seems pretty clear what stipulation would be picked, right? Likely
sensing that, AAA dragged out the issue for a few weeks before having him give
his answer during a press conference on May 12th (Park actually accepted the
challenge two weeks earlier, but chose to wait to reveal the stipulation). To
the surprise of no one, the stipulation for the match was that the winner would
get the rights to the La Parka name, thus ending the fourteen year debate on
which man (Tapia or Escobedo) was the real La Parka. A week later, the contract
was signed, and the fans finally had the dream match they always wanted. All
that was left was to ride out the last few weeks of build up (which involved
Dorian, by this point Park's onscreen manager, having La Parka arrested for
piracy in a clever angle), and it would be there. The only question was, could
it live up to the years and years of hype?
The Match
Triplemania finally
arrived on June 6th, and to the surprise of no one, L.A. Park vs. La Parka
served as the events main event match. You could sense the electricity as both men
came to the ring, each wearing near identical La Parka costumes and each coming
out to Michael Jackson's classic song, "Thriller" (in Mexico,
copyright laws pretty much don't exist. It's wonderful as far as entrance music
goes). In a shocking turn of events however, the crowd was seemingly split
60/40 in favor of Park. This was in spite of the fact that Park entered the
match as the rudo (the term for heel in lucha libre, in case you're reading me
for the first time), and was accompanied to the ring by Dorian, one of the most
loathsome individuals in AAA at the time. If the crowd couldn't set the stage
for the spectacle of what was to come, nothing could. And yet, both Park and La
Parka had a few more surprises up their sleeves.
A bloodied La Parka takes a beating from L.A. Park |
It's time to be real
here. This was a hotly anticipated match, perhaps the most anticipated match in
Mexico in recent memory when it happened. But no one, and I mean no one,
could've possibly thought the match would be a classic. Both Park and La Parka
were in their mid 40's at the time, well past their prime, and the presence of
Dorian and Joaquin at ringside indicated this match would be more about
spectacle and interference than high quality in ring action. Boy, was everyone
wrong. Not only did those two deliver, but they delivered in full force, a
combined performance that was at times brutal, at times intense and at every
point exciting. Watching the match, I was surprised to see how well both men
moved; if I hadn't known their ages, I would've thought Park and La Parka were
twenty years younger than they were. That their ability to physically hold up
coincided with some excellent storytelling is what ultimately made everything
work. Losing wasn't an option for either man; they had to win, they needed to
win. Everything depended on it. That's how much the stipulation meant. And it
was that energy from them, that storytelling, that kept the crowd on their feet
for the whole match, beginning to end.
And how did it end?
After accidentally taking out the referee with a suicide dive, Park was able to
take control of the match once again and brutally tombstoned La Parka onto a
chair. Fed up with the cheating, Joaquin came in the ring to confront Park, who
then took said chair and threatened AAA's owner. Evidently, this was a bridge
too far for Dorian (who had otherwise gleefully supported Park's actions
throughout the match), and he came in the ring to save his father. In a
shocking move, Park turned on Dorian, shoving him away and then clocked Joaquin
with a chair to a surprising amount of cheers. Dorian quickly recovered and
attacked Park with the chair, but before he could serious damage was run off
by, get this, Perros del Mal! Yes, Perro Aguayo Jr's promotion, having come to
terms with AAA on an invasion angle just a few days prior to Triplemania,
arrived right in the nick of time, chasing off Dorian and moving a wounded Park
over a motionless La Parka. One corrupt ref later, and L.A. Park was the
winner, officially proving himself to be the one true La Parka. The rest of
Perros del Mal (including Park's son, Hijo de L.A. Park), hit the ring to
celebrate, with Perro and Park cutting promos to close the show as the AAA
roster angrily tried to get at the stable from outside the ring. As far as
closing segments go, this might be the Blade Runner of lucha libre.
Halloween and Damien 666 pull a partially unmasked L.A. Park to victory |
Conclusion
There's plenty of
instances where big time events don't live up to the hype. L.A. Park vs. La
Parka wasn't one of those. This was a dream match that exceeded the hype, a
spectacle with story, a brawl with technical skill, a tale of two men fighting
for a name they both felt they had claim to. Professional wrestling, whether
it's the lucha libre or American style, works best when there is urgency, when the
stakes feel real, when the story is something right out of the world we live
in. The War of La Parka was just that. It took Adolfo Tapia's struggle to
regain the name that made him a household name, it took Jesus Escobedo's
struggle to overcome being the sequel to the original, and turned it into a
lucha libre legend. The best comparison to a WWE match I can give is the
Rock-Hollywood Hogan match from Wrestlemania X8, only with better in ring
quality. It's that good. So don't wait, and don't just take my word for it. The
usual ending isn't going to happen in this column. Instead, I'll leave you to
go out, find this match on the internet or on DVD, and take 45 minutes of your
time to sit back, relax, and enjoy professional wrestling as it's meant to be. You
won't regret. Trust me, no one else who has seen it has.
A quick postscript; despite winning the
match, Tapia wasn't allowed to take back the La Parka name, as the Mexico City
Boxing and Wrestling Commission (yes, there's a commission down there that
rules on a fake sport. I don't get it either) ruled the match void due to
outside interference. Thus, Tapia was forced to remain L.A. Park, while
Escobedo remains La Parka. Tapia later said that the name didn't matter, though
whether he believes that or not is something you'd have to ask him.
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