It's Wednesday, which means we are close to the best
wrestling show of the week, Lucha Underground! Last week, there were monsters
in basements, a whole of Dario Cueto, and a final scene that made Dragonheart
look even worse than it already looked (get it? Cause Drago turned into a dragon? Tough sub). What's in store this week? Let's give
the LU a preview. The Temple waits for no man or woman. ON WITH THE SHOW!!!
DelAvar Daivari vs.
Texano
What to Expect: Of all the
matches this week, this is the one I'm most curious about. One, this is the
first time Daivari will have wrestled for a TV audience since his TNA run as Sheik
Abdul Bashir, which was all the way back in 2009. Two, poor Texano only got
interesting just one week ago, and that was for beating up four jobbers. In
short, I have no idea where this match could go. It could either be really good
or really bad, though I would lean towards good. At some point, Texano is going
to show why he was the youngest AAA Heavyweight Champion, and Daivari was no
slouch in the ring himself. Let's hope they click, and also hope people don't
look at Daivari and go, "hey, that was Muhammad Hassan's manservant!".
Remember those days? Pepperidge Farm sadly does remember.
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| Still a better love story than Twilight. |
Winner: Daivari. I know, I know,
Killshot lost his first match last week, and there's no reason Daivari can't
lose his I suppose. That said, he is a former WWE star, and Texano hasn't taken
off the way some may have expected too. Thus, I'll go with Daivari, followed by
a post match attack by Texano to continue the feud.
Prince Puma and
Hernandez vs. Cage and King Cuerno
What to Expect: Another week, another step closer the
inevitable "KONNAN'S PUPIL'S EXPLODE!!!" contest. Hey, I'm not
complaining. Prince Puma remains as exciting as ever in the ring, and as one of
the five remaining Hernandez fans, I'm excited to see what he can bring against
Puma. As for this match, as long as I get my fill of Cage, I'm going to be a
satisfied panda. Like I said last week, the dude has finally figured it out in
ring wise, and he's been busting out more and more athletic moves to go along
with his power game. Give him most of the time here, this will be a success.
Sorry Deer Antlers; you at least have your...deer antlers. Alright, maybe
things aren't looking that smooth for Cuerno here.
Winner: This screams the heel team winning when the faces
can't get along. But I'm gonna go with Hernandez and Puma here. I mean hell,
Hernandez has been winning all of Puma's matches the past few weeks, what's one
more? I say Puma takes exception to Hernandez' dirty ways, there's a brawl, and
Konnan looks on with the same face he had when told of his creative direction
in late 90's WCW.
Alberto El Patron vs.
Johnny Mundo
What to Expect: Match of the night alert. Match of the night
alert. MATCH OF THE NIGHT ALERT. Get your pizza pringles and Pepsi cans ready
people, because this match is happening! A Twin Peaks gif is in order!
Look, there's plenty of reason to get excited for this
match. For starters, Mundo and Alberto are, without a doubt, the two biggest
names in the LU right now, and it's always great to see top guys go against
each other. Secondly, both men are extraordinary in ring performers, and
there's something to prove here for Patron after a semi-underwhelming feud with
Texano. And thirdly, the backstage segments between these two have been
fantastic. Seriously, some of the best parts of the last few LU episodes have
been the verbal jousting between Alberto and Mundo, two guys who famously had
the personality of Hayden Christensen in WWE (that was for you, 'Plan). Put all
that together, and this could be special. I can't wait to see this.
Winner: Rumor has it that Johnny Mundo could be going heel
soon, while El Patron's actions during some of the backstage segments have
hinted he's the one turning heel. Either way, it seems like someone is turning
heel either in this match or the next. I'll go with Mundo to do make the turn
and win. El Patron might be a better heel overall, but he's also a better draw
for the LU than Mundo as a top face, and is more over. Thus, I say Mundo wins
by nefarious circumstances, and either fully turns, or starts towards a turn
that will be completed a few weeks from now.
Trios Championship
Match
Ivelisse, Angelico
and Son of Havoc (c) vs. The Crew
What to Expect: I have no idea. Will this actually be a
trios match with Ivelisse dealing with a severe injury? Will Dario Cueto stack
the deck in favor of his henchman? Will Angelico do another move like his
wonderful Death From Above leap a few weeks back? Will Son of Havoc try to top
him? Will I ask a question here that doesn't begin with the world will?
As great as El Patron vs. Mundo will be, this is what I'm
looking forward to the most. I've fallen in love with this Angelico-Ivelisse-Havoc
team. They're wildly entertaining in the ring, they're wildly entertaining out
of the ring, and the chance to see one of the three do some breathtaking move
makes it impossible to take your eyes off of them. They might be the most
entertaining entity in wrestling right now. And The Crew is pretty good too, and
likely to bring more intensity for this rematch due to the potential fate that
awaits them if they lose. I don't think this will be as good as El
Patron-Mundo, but it'll be close. And it'll at least have one Angelico spot
that makes you question everything you've ever known about existence.
Winner: They aren't taking the titles off the best team in
the world this quickly. Thus, Angelico, Ivelisse and Havoc will retain, but
with a twist; Ivelisse will be replaced by Jack Evans, Angelico's AAA tag
partner who might be even more exciting than Angelico is! Imagine that. As for
the Crew, I sense they will indeed be meeting the mysterious Matanza after
defeat. And frankly, that's awesome. I need more Matanza. I also need to know
who he is! REVEAL HIS IDENTITY CUETO!!!
There you have it lucha fans. I'll be back tomorrow with a
review of the show. Till then, go Flames, go Cubs, I'm super (thanks for
asking), accept Lionel Messi as the baddest man on the pitch, vote
Angelico/Havoc for a more high flying, less corporate wrestling America, fire
Roger, fire the guy who canceled Salsa doritos, and as always remembers
DUCHOVNY'S sage words; it ain't easy, being cheesy. Yup, he invented that.
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| Swag |
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