Lucha Underground Review: Episode 26: El Patron-Mundo

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Another Thursday morning, another good to great Lucha Underground episode in the books. Who did Dario Cueto piss off this time? Did the Konnan powers explode? Who won Mundo-El Patron? And where oh where are my ice cream bars? Whoops, wrong wrestling company. Let's find out what happened. ON WITH THE SHOW!

Lucha Underground Review: Episode 26: El Patron-Mundo

Dario Cueto: Booker

Poor Cueto. There he is, sitting in his office while trying to put matches together, and here comes Alberto El Patron and Johnny Mundo barging in complaining about Hernandez and each other. Can an evil boss get any privacy? You don't see anyone barging in on Red Skull during his important meetings. Come on guys!

This was a pretty standard opening; it got the Mundo-El Patron match booked, it got them to do a pretty cool stare down, and most importantly, we got more Cueto. There can never be enough Cueto in your life. Every night before he goes to sleep, Triple H gets a call from Shawn Michaels telling him how awesome Cueto is, forcing good old Hunter to cry himself to sleep. That entire last sentence was brought to you by the boys at Right Side of the Pond by the way. Hi Mazza!

The Crew (Cortez Castro and Mr. Cisco) defeats Angelico and Son of Havoc

So remember when I said this match was for the Trios titles? Psych! Turns out, this was just the prelude for the eventual title match, which may or may not feature Ivelisse (still injured and still incredibly entertaining at ringside). That said, it was a very good prelude. Like I said in the preview yesterday, anything Angelico, Havoc and Ivelisse are involved in has my complete and utter interest, and they didn't disappoint here. So what if there was no Greatest Spot that Ever Lived; you can't pull out death defying leaps every week. That's like expecting Roger Goodell to make a great decision every time some NFL player screws up (oops, he never makes a good decision). As for the Crew, they may not be as flashy as their opponents, but they know what they're doing and they do it well. These teams will tear down the house in the next few weeks; I just wish they had gotten more time this week.

Listen Up Everyone, Daivari's a Dick!

You know you're a heel when you make Dario Cueto seem like the most likable dude in the room. It was needed though, as the kind of ignorant, disrespectful , cocky bastard Daivari was in that segment is exactly what he's best at. That sort of character (the wealthy, smug young man) is what led him to his best success in both WWE and TNA, and it's what will help him here. If only he had been this good in the ring later.

Dario Cueto Starts Some Shit

Technically shit may have already been started, as Puma and Konnan were already confronting Hernandez over the fact that he's been way too involved in Puma's business. But it goes to a whole new level once Cueto walks on in, informs Hernandez that he now has to beat either Mundo or El Patron to face Puma, and then puts the two in a tag team match (playa). There are Shakespeare characters that didn't go out of their way this much to stir trouble. Just as well; regardless of what Cueto does or doesn't do, the Konnan powers were going to explode eventually. Crap, did I say were? Ignore it. LOOK AWAY!

 Texano and Daivari...Did Nothing

We are fair, but firm here LU fans, and sometimes that means being a tad critical about stuff. Like this segment, which proved to be both unnecessary and sadly not very well done. I get the thought behind it, as Texano desperately has needed some juice for his character and a brawl is a good way to start a rivalry. The problem is the brawl wasn't very good; it was like watching a fake slap fight, only less believable. With Daivari needing to be established in the Temple and Texano needing anything, this needed to be a better start. I honestly think they should've waited a week, and given the time to one of the two tag matches.

Cage and King Cuerno defeat Prince Puma and Hernandez

This probably should've been longer than it was, although it's clear the main purpose of this match was to have the KONNAN POWERS EXPLODE! Just the right time too; after Hernandez clearly looked to be trying to cost Puma last week, it was only right for the LU to pull the trigger on his heel/rudo turn. I liked how they didn't have him attack Konnan or vice versa, as that continues the theory that Konnan will be turning on Puma as well. I know, Konnan technically threatened Hernandez after he obliterated Puma on the outside, but come on. That's swerve 101 right there! If Konnan isn't cracking Puma with that cane of his in the next few weeks, I'll be more shocked than I was by how good the new Planet of the Apes movies were.

Like a boss

Lost in all the Konnan powers bullshit though is how good the heel team was. Cage once again was just brilliant; did you see him nail a perfect 619? A PERFECT 619! Every week it seems the man from the 559 is pulling out new tricks, and he's quickly becoming my favorite guy inside the Temple. And though he didn't have the flashiness Cage showed, good old Deer Antlers had his best performance since his cage match with Johnny Mundo. I loved, LOVED the part of the match where Cuerno looked over to his famous headwear, and it was if a light switched on in him. It was a great shot, and a great subtle character twitch that helped make the match better in the second half once Cuerno started getting going.

Black Lotus and El Dragon Azteca's Excellent Adventure: Part 3

The only thing I like better than segments building towards Matanza are segments building towards Black Lotus getting revenge on Matanza. Only in Lucha Underground could a Kill Bill esq subplot work as well as this one is. This one didn't have the kung fu theatrics the other two scenes did, but it worked in a calmer sort of way. I also liked the subtext of Lotus representing the audience and El Dragon Azteca representing the LU. I don't know about you, but like Lotus, I want to see Matanza. Like as badly as I want to see Mad Max: Fury Road. And yet in the end, Dragon Azteca and the LU are probably right; it's not yet time for Lotus to get her revenge, and it's not yet time for us to meet the awesomeness that is Matanza. I can accept that, even if I still desperately want to know. By the way, who is the El Dragon Azteca? Does anyone have any dirt on that?! If you do, get in touch with me stat.

Alberto El Patron defeats Johnny Mundo

This was excellence. Pure, unfiltered, unadulterated excellence, the kind you only get from Pink Floyd records and Yvonne Strahovski. 

Man, what a match this was! And the best part is that it didn't need to be that flashy. Sure, El Patron did have a pretty sweet suicide dive, and Johnny Mundo did Johnny Mundo things (one of those things involved him accidentally breaking the ring steps), but overall there was less flying around than you'd expect. Instead, they worked some good technical wrestling, a bunch of near falls, and most importantly kept the pace moving. These two were never let loose like this in WWE, and I'm really glad the LU let them off the leash here. What more can I say; it was an exceptional main event, and was definitely the best match El Patron has had since he arrived in the Temple. I'm really looking forward to seeing what he can get out of Hernandez next week (early prediction; the match surprises everyone. You watch).

Mil Muertes Returns! With Cool Eye Contacts!

Yup, he's back, and apparently well preserved. No wonder Catrina has been away; she's been making sure he didn't decompose before she resurrected him. In any event, it's good to have both of them back, and it'll be interesting to see where they go. It's also a relief to know that Mil is indeed not returning as Matanza. The mystery continues!!!

There you have it guys. See you later this afternoon. Till then, who is Matanza? Seriously, who is he?! DUCHOVNY must know!

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