Another Lucha Underground episode is in the books, which
means it's time for yours truly to see how they did. Did last night's episode
feature another death defying leap? Did Vampiro celebrate again like the Maples
Leafs had just won the Cup? Did Alberto
El Patron and Johnny Mundo continue their war of the backstage segment
(spoiler; nope)? Let's find out! ON WITH THE SHOW!
Lucha Underground
Review: Episode 25: The Dario Cueto Experience
The Crew Meet Matanza
You got to hand it to the LU; no other wrestling show would
dare start their broadcast by having the heel boss lead his heel team into a
basement where some monster is being held captive. But that's just what Dario
Cueto did, trying to send the message to The Crew that losing the Trios
Championship match last week was a bad idea. And message received; did you see
the faces of Castro, Bael and Mr. Cisco when Matanza's shadow loomed out at
them? It was like watching Disney executives react to John Carter's box office
totals. Forget The Crew though; WHO THE HELL IS MATANZA?! I want to know
already dammit! I haven't been this invested in a mystery wrestler angle in
ages, and that combined with my continued hope that CM Punk is somehow Matanza
has got me way too excited. Don't kill my dreams either; that could've been
Punk's shadow. Or at least his egos shadow. I kid, I kid!
Fenix defeats
Killshot
To the surprise of absolutely no one, this was an excellent
opener. Both men took a few minutes to feel each other out, but once Fenix hit Killshot
with a BETWEEN THE ROPES HURRICANRANA TO THE FLOOR, it was on. I remain
captivated by Fenix; the dude is just 24 years old, but he looks like he's been
wrestling for fifteen years. He reminds me so much of a young Rey Mysterio Jr.
Don't worry though, Killshot held up his end of the bargain, hitting his fair
share of high risk moves and a kick that was so hard, Chelsea probably called
him today about a Premier League contract. In the end, Fenix put it away with a
combo tombstone/screwdriver finish, ending a solid opener that, what do you
know, made both men look good. The only flaw; no Willie Mack. The people want
The Mack! THE PEOPLE NEED THE MACK!
Dario Cueto trolls
Drago and Puma as only Dario Cueto can
If the first three backstage
segments didn't make it clear, this LU episode was going to be the Dario Cueto
show. And hey, who's complaining? The man is the best evil overlord wrestling
has seen since Mr. McMahon in 1997, acting like a cross between Vince, Eric
Bischoff, a Robert Rodriguez villain (shocking) and a far more credible version
of Gabriel Byrne's Satan in End of Days. Did you see how Puma reacted to his interaction
with Cueto? I'm surprised he didn't immediately light up some candles and put
on a Cure CD. Also important; Cueto made the announced triple threat match
between Hernandez, Cage and Deer Antlers (aka King Cuerno) during this segment,
adding some more fuel to the fire for that match later on.
Argenis, Ricky
Mandel, Famous B and Vinny Massaro were destroyed by Texano
This may have been the most
likable Texano has been since he arrived at the Temple. Who knew all it took
was taking out four jobbers and then calling out Davari to do the job? That
should be a pretty good match by the way; Davari has always been underrated as
a performer (plus he looked like a mini Khal Drogo the way he was ripped last
week), and poor Texano needs to prove himself after not really hanging with
Alberto El Patron upon debut. Motivation is a wonderful thing guys; well unless
you're a GM before the NFL Draft. Dear Cleveland; Sam Bradford isn't the
answer. Stop it. NOW!
GOOD GAWD, THAT'S THE
MOTH'S MUSIC!
I don't know too much about Marty "The Moth"
Martinez just yet, but I know that I need more of him. Yesterday. Hell, I need more
of him and Cueto together. What a segment, and who knew the only thing that
could rattle Cueto would be an overzealous fanboy who looks like he's destined
to be the Killer Moth of pro wrestling? Imagine if Marty decides to go all nuts
and takes on a persona called Killer Moth. It might just be me really wanting
more references to obscure Batman villains, but that needs to happen.
Yesterday.
 |
| Marty The Moth's future wrestling attire |
Triple Threat to
Become #1 Contender for the LU Championship
Hernandez defeats
Cage and King Cuerno
This was better than I expected, and not just because The Moth made his presence known by getting obliterated.
I know some people complain about Hernandez, but I've always thought he was an
underrated talent and it continues to baffle me how TNA dropped the ball on him
when it looked like he could be a top star. He acquitted himself well here,
playing up his athleticism and cocky persona, including a point where he
actually seemed to high five Deer Antlers'...deer antlers. Speaking of him,
Cuerno was his usual self as well, though he seemed to be subjected more to
delivering the other half of double team moves with Cage. Plus, no insane
suicide dive. How can you have a Cuerno match without an insane suicide dive?
That's like the Stone Temple Pilots without Scott Weiland. And look how well
that's working out.
The real star of this match however was Cage. I don't know
what it is, but these past few weeks the man from the 559 seems to have really
gotten comfortable in the ring on a consistent basis. Last week, it was hitting
that sick moonsault to the outside. This week, it was a standing moonsault and
a bunch of other impressive maneuvers. It's as if he's finally found the
perfect balance between showing off his power and his athleticism, instead of
going for just one or the other. Great to see, and it had me rooting for him to
win here. Still, no complaints about Hernandez winning, as everyone still
looked good and it's pretty obvious Hernandez and Puma are on a collision
course with each other. The Konnan powers will explode!
Vampiro Interviews
Ivelisse, Son of Havoc and Angelico
This might've been the funniest wrestling segment I've seen
all year. Despite their awesome victory last week, the Trios Tag Team Champions
still can't get along, and it's simply glorious. The highlights were Vampiro
and Havoc having a secret handshake, Vampiro in general, Angelico actually
speaking (is that the first time), each one trying to claim they were
responsible for the victory last week, and Ivelisse having the nerve to try and
discredit Angelico's leap from last week. "It a crossbody, the most basic
move in wrestling!". She was so off
base, even Havoc came to Angelico's defense there. Come on Ivelisse! You may be
the baddest bitch in the building and the love of my friend Joe Brown's life,
but you're more wrong here than the Browns are for trying to get Sam Bradford.
No, I'm not over that yet. Who in their right mind thinks it's a good idea Josh Hamilton the rookie
quarterback for the football version of Mr. Glass? Is Kevin Costner actually
running the Browns?
 |
| Johnny Manzel's rumored reaction to Cleveland's stupidity |
Lucha Underground
Championship
Prince Puma (c)
defeated Drago
Easily the match of the night and yet another candidate for
one of the LU's top ten matches of all time. They went away from what I thought
they were going to do; instead of wrestling desperately, Drago seemed to be a
tad more conservative than I expected. Yes, conservative for the LU still
involves a ton of springboards, planchas and moves us mortals only dream about,
but there wasn't as much risk taking/desperation from Drago as I thought. That
said, it still worked, as he and Puma put out a very well grounded match that
still featured some cool spots and some decent psychology. Konnan, as usual,
did a good job outside the ring as Puma's always shifty mentor, something
Vampiro is always happy to bring up (one of the best parts of the LU is Vamp
continuing is long running feud with Konnan via commentary. Great stuff). In
the end, they got the finale right I thought. Puma once again won with
assistance from Hernandez (even if it was accidental), furthering the thought process
that the champion needs help to win and the tension between him and Konnan's
former protégé. As for Drago, don't worry guys, he'll be back soon. No one ever
stays gone in wrestling for too long. Plus, could he have made a better exit?
As TripleR pointed out in his Welcome to the Underground review, it appears
Drago might be an actual dragon! Holy balls! Only in Lucha Underground can the
show begin with a monster in a basement, end with a wrestler turning into a dragon,
then fly off spitting hot fire, AND WORK. Incredible stuff. Although not as
good as Cueto no selling Drago's transformation. Cueto for MVP!
Bottom Line: Another great episode in the bag for Lucha
Underground. There were two solid undercard matches, several excellent
backstage segments, the funniest interview I've seen in awhile, and an well
done, emotionally charged main event. Add that to all the Dario Cueto
appearances, Matanza and a wrestler TURNING INTO A DRAGON, and this episode has
to get an A. AKA, the opposite of what Cleveland's draft grade will be.
That's it. I'll be back later today for some more NHL
playoffs coverage. Till then, try to come up with a lucha name for the great
DUCHOVNY!
Please change disks to
continue...
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