Thursday, May 21, 2015

Lucha Underground: Episode 28: LADDER MATCH (aka HOLY @#&@ ANGELICO!)




Tweet me! @CultIcon

So...last night was a pretty good wrestling night huh? Over on the NXT side, Samoa Joe showed up to confront Kevin Owens, the fans roared and Vince McMahon wondered why people can't care about Roman Reigns and John Cena that way. Meanwhile, in our Lucha Underground neck of the woods, this happened.


Do I have your attention now? Good. Let's just get right into it shall we? ON WITH THE SHOW!

Lucha Underground: Episode 28: LADDER MATCH (aka HOLY @#&@ ANGELICO!)

Prince Puma defeats Marty the Moth

Man, did I get this one wrong or what? Here I was, thinking Hernandez was going to mosey down to the ring and take both guys out, while Konnan silently applauded screamed curses in Spanish at him. To my surprise, we didn't see Hernandez till the end, which means we got a good five minutes or so of the man, the myth, THE MOTH! In case yesterday wasn't a good enough indicator, I love this guy. Suckering Puma in with a surprise photo shoot? Constantly flapping his arms like an actual moth? I need more of this man LU! Can we get him vs. Jack Evans? That contrast would be great in the goofy underdog vs. the cocky high flyer. Someone make this damn thing happen!


Oh yes, the rest of the match. The Moth's contributions aside, I thought this was a good effort given the time Puma and Marty were given, and it was nice to see Puma actually win a match without Hernandez getting involved. Didn't it seem like that was happening every week recently? And oh, Konnan, let me be the first, second and third person to tell you that I don't believe a word you say about Hernandez. You are enjoying this, you are turning on Puma to join Hernandez the first chance you get and I will not believe otherwise until you Mark McGwire him in the head with your dope cane. Deal with it. Oh, and can you please advise poor Hernandez to stop walking around like a middle school suburbs kid pretending to be a gangster? Daryl Sabara in Machete is more Mexican than him at this point.

The Mundobomb

Let's be real here; Johnny Mundo, great as he is in the ring, has never been CM Punk on the mic. In fact, dare I say that some of his work on the stick over the years has been laughably bad. Why do I bring this up? Because last night, his interview with Vampiro over his attack of Alberto El Patron last week, might've been the best work he's done in a speaking role. It wasn't revolutionary and it wasn't something you'll remember fifty years from now, but it was another great step in the continued improvement Mundo has shown in his segments (those acting classes really helped I guess). I'm still trying to decide if my favorite part of the interview was him stealing Patron's catchphrase, the blatant and obvious reference to why Patron was fired from WWE (which nearly shocked me out of my seat) or the fact that he kind of won Vampiro over by the end of the interview. And that's tough; Vamp always almost comes to blows with his guests. Again, this was nothing out this world, but it was an engaging, solid interview by a guy who seems to be quickly growing into his heel role. When can we get Mundo-Patron II?!

Dario and The Crew

Our first Dario segment! Took them long enough huh? Unfortunately, not a whole lot to say here, as the great Cueto basically said the same thing to The Crew he said a few weeks ago, minus Matanza's presence in the room. By the way, we're getting close to figuring out who this Matanza is. Between this segment and what happens later in the show, dare I say we may even get the reveal before Ultimo Lucha. And let me say, YES! We cannot get to the Matanza reveal soon enough. I HAVE TO KNOW!


Texano defeats DelAvar Daivari via DQ

Let me echo my buddy TripleR over at LOP in saying this match was what it was. Poor Texano. This was the longest reigning AAA Heavyweight Champion not too long ago, and the hopes were high for him upon his arrival to the Temple. I don't know if he hasn't fully adapted, if expectations were too high or if he has chemistry issues with the guys he's working with, but the poor dude just can't find his way yet. His match with Daivari was more of the same; it wasn't terrible, and I thought they got a little bit of a rhythm going as it went a long, but by this point you'd expect better for Texano. At least we can now see where the whole thing is going with Big Ryck's involvement (now we know the reason he had all that cash last week), and I like the idea of him and Daivari together. The question now; what does this mean for The Mack and Killshot? Will they stand with Ryck? Will they come to Texano's aide? There's an intriguing story there, I just wish we had a better match to lead into it.

Cueto and Catrina

Remember how I talked about Mil Muertes being wrestling's "New Face of Fear" yesterday, and how Catrina was a big part of it? Well, look no further than this segment; even Dario Cueto, the man who keeps a monster locked in the Temple basement, was rattled by Catrina. The fear is real dudes! And so is Catrina once again trying to take the key to Matanza's cell from Cueto. Dario has to be more concerned about that. Can you imagine Mil Muertes vs. Matanza, whoever he is? Or an alliance between those two, Catrina, and the Skelator army we saw attacking Fenix last week? Keep your friends close and the key closer Dario!

Hide the key Dario! Hide it!
Alright, I know what you really want to talk about regarding this segment; Fenix-Mil, Death Match next week on the LU. I can't wait for it either, and I'm not even sure what a Death Match is in this instance. The last Death Match I recall seeing was Ian Rotten vs. Axl Rotten back in mid 90's ECW, which involved super glue, glass and a whole lot of blood (that match was called a Taipei Death Match by the way). Barring Paul Heyman quietly becoming the LU's booker, I don't think we're going to see that here. Whatever it is though, I'm stoked, and a little worried for Fenix. Not only is he not winning this next match, he might be going for a little vacation. Mil tore him up in Grave Consequences, and that was the mellower version of Mil apparently. If Fenix gets out of this match not looking like a cross between the monster from "Post Modern Prometheus" and the villain from Dune, I'll eat everyone's hat.

All Roads Lead to Matanza

Man, for someone who we've never seen, Matanza is everywhere. Which means he needs to be on my screen already! Okay I'm done with that now. The general gist of this long segment was that Black Lotus has left El Dragon Azteca to return to the Temple and kill Matanza(we see her walking along the same railroad as Jack Bauer did at the end of 24's fourth season), and Chavo Guerrero has now returned to help Azteca protect her. As long as Chavo's past debts (hello Blue Demon Jr feud) are resolved by Azteca of course. Let me just say, segments like this are exactly why the LU producers need to film a Lucha Underground movie during one of the off seasons. Seriously, the show is already heavily influenced by the conventions of the same Lucha films the legendary El Santo used to do back in the day. Why not do one during hiatus with Rodriguez directing it? You're telling me you aren't going to see it? Please.

LADDER MATCH for the Trios Championship
Ivelisse, Angelico and Son of Havoc defeated The Crew

Well, this didn't disappoint did it? There was high flying, there was Dario Cueto once again having someone break into his office, there was the now annual Son of Havoc/Crew member spot that didn't go how it should've, there was...there was a lot. I'm not sure this flowed quite as well the previous match these two teams had, but there's no shame in that. The first match between these teams was a masterpiece; so what if this one was just a near masterpiece? The Crew did all the things The Crew did well (and man, how about Cisco's suicide dive through Cueto's window? Epic!!!), Son of Havoc bounced around like a pinball on a sugar rush, Dario Cueto stole the show yet again on his acting alone and Ivelisse, bum leg and all, gutted it out with a very courageous performance. That girl has got some guts. Oh, I almost forgot about Angelico. What did he do again?


Stop it. JUST STOP IT! There's not enough Kenny "The Jet" Smith at the NBA dunk contest quotes or Jim Ross reactions that can properly describe the sickness that is Angelico. Holy shit, he did it again! And dare I say even more impressively than the crossbody, a spot that I considered to be the greatest spot in the history of the western hemisphere. Here's the thing; this time around not only did Angelico have jump a good twenty plus feet through the air (while taking a twenty foot drop), but he had to do it while taking the brunt of the fall on his back and the back of his head. The danger level was just as great as the crossbody, perhaps even more so. And yet, he not only landed safely, HE HIT THE DROPKICK PERFECTLY! This kid is unreal; not since Jeff Hardy before the drugs have I seen someone like this. What more can you possibly say? All hail Angelico. And all hail his teammates too, who get to continue being the most entertaining champions in wrestling today. As for The Crew...I mean, maybe Matanza's rep is misleading? I'm just kidding, they're screwed.

There you have it guys. Hope you enjoyed the episode, and the night in wrestling overall. I'll be back later today with something, not sure what yet. Till then, let's compare Angelico's dives. You know you want to.


Follow Cult @CultIcon
Email Cult at fallenhero17@yahoo.com


Please change disks to continue...

4 comments:

  1. If I have to see more Daivari in an LU ring, it'll be a sad day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's wrong with Daivari? He's not too bad.

      Delete
    2. I just think he, along with Texano, are two of the blandest guys in LU right now, and just don't fit with the overall presentation. Big Ryck vs. Texano is not going to be pretty either.

      Delete
    3. Nothing Big Ryck does is pretty. I think you're being harsh on Daivari though. I've always found him talented. Just stuck in some terrible ass gimmicks. I agree he and Texano should stay away from each other; chemistry isn't working thus far. They're no Angelic, Havoc and Ivelisse.

      Delete