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So...last night was a pretty good wrestling night huh? Over
on the NXT side, Samoa Joe showed up to confront Kevin Owens, the fans roared
and Vince McMahon wondered why people can't care about Roman Reigns and John
Cena that way. Meanwhile, in our Lucha Underground neck of the woods, this
happened.
Do I have your attention now? Good. Let's just get right
into it shall we? ON WITH THE SHOW!
Lucha Underground:
Episode 28: LADDER MATCH (aka HOLY @#&@ ANGELICO!)
Prince Puma defeats
Marty the Moth
Man, did I get this one wrong or what? Here I was, thinking
Hernandez was going to mosey down to the ring and take both guys out, while
Konnan silently applauded screamed curses in Spanish at him. To my surprise, we didn't see Hernandez till the
end, which means we got a good five minutes or so of the man, the myth, THE
MOTH! In case yesterday wasn't a good enough indicator, I love this guy. Suckering
Puma in with a surprise photo shoot? Constantly flapping his arms like an
actual moth? I need more of this man LU! Can we get him vs. Jack Evans? That
contrast would be great in the goofy underdog vs. the cocky high flyer. Someone
make this damn thing happen!
Oh yes, the rest of the match. The Moth's contributions
aside, I thought this was a good effort given the time Puma and Marty were
given, and it was nice to see Puma actually win a match without Hernandez
getting involved. Didn't it seem like that was happening every week recently?
And oh, Konnan, let me be the first, second and third person to tell you that I
don't believe a word you say about Hernandez. You are enjoying this, you are
turning on Puma to join Hernandez the first chance you get and I will not
believe otherwise until you Mark McGwire him in the head with your dope cane. Deal
with it. Oh, and can you please advise poor Hernandez to stop walking around
like a middle school suburbs kid pretending to be a gangster? Daryl Sabara in
Machete is more Mexican than him at this point.
The Mundobomb
Let's be real here; Johnny Mundo, great as he is in the
ring, has never been CM Punk on the mic. In fact, dare I say that some of his
work on the stick over the years has been laughably bad. Why do I bring this
up? Because last night, his interview with Vampiro over his attack of Alberto
El Patron last week, might've been the best work he's done in a speaking role.
It wasn't revolutionary and it wasn't something you'll remember fifty years
from now, but it was another great step in the continued improvement Mundo has
shown in his segments (those acting classes really helped I guess). I'm still
trying to decide if my favorite part of the interview was him stealing Patron's
catchphrase, the blatant and obvious reference to why Patron was fired from WWE
(which nearly shocked me out of my seat) or the fact that he kind of won
Vampiro over by the end of the interview. And that's tough; Vamp always almost
comes to blows with his guests. Again, this was nothing out this world, but it
was an engaging, solid interview by a guy who seems to be quickly growing into
his heel role. When can we get Mundo-Patron II?!
Dario and The Crew
Our first Dario segment! Took them long enough huh?
Unfortunately, not a whole lot to say here, as the great Cueto basically said
the same thing to The Crew he said a few weeks ago, minus Matanza's presence in
the room. By the way, we're getting close to figuring out who this Matanza is.
Between this segment and what happens later in the show, dare I say we may even
get the reveal before Ultimo Lucha. And let me say, YES! We cannot get to the
Matanza reveal soon enough. I HAVE TO KNOW!
Texano defeats
DelAvar Daivari via DQ
Let me echo my buddy TripleR over at LOP in saying this
match was what it was. Poor Texano. This was the longest reigning AAA
Heavyweight Champion not too long ago, and the hopes were high for him upon his
arrival to the Temple. I don't know if he hasn't fully adapted, if expectations
were too high or if he has chemistry issues with the guys he's working with,
but the poor dude just can't find his way yet. His match with Daivari was more
of the same; it wasn't terrible, and I thought they got a little bit of a
rhythm going as it went a long, but by this point you'd expect better for
Texano. At least we can now see where the whole thing is going with Big Ryck's
involvement (now we know the reason he had all that cash last week), and I like
the idea of him and Daivari together. The question now; what does this mean for
The Mack and Killshot? Will they stand with Ryck? Will they come to Texano's
aide? There's an intriguing story there, I just wish we had a better match to
lead into it.
Cueto and Catrina
Remember how I talked about Mil Muertes being wrestling's
"New Face of Fear" yesterday, and how Catrina was a big part of it?
Well, look no further than this segment; even Dario Cueto, the man who keeps a
monster locked in the Temple basement, was rattled by Catrina. The fear is real
dudes! And so is Catrina once again trying to take the key to Matanza's cell
from Cueto. Dario has to be more concerned about that. Can you imagine Mil
Muertes vs. Matanza, whoever he is? Or an alliance between those two, Catrina,
and the Skelator army we saw attacking Fenix last week? Keep your friends close
and the key closer Dario!
Hide the key Dario! Hide it! |
Alright, I know what you really want to talk about regarding
this segment; Fenix-Mil, Death Match next week on the LU. I can't wait for it
either, and I'm not even sure what a Death Match is in this instance. The last
Death Match I recall seeing was Ian Rotten vs. Axl Rotten back in mid 90's ECW,
which involved super glue, glass and a whole lot of blood (that match was
called a Taipei Death Match by the way). Barring Paul Heyman quietly becoming
the LU's booker, I don't think we're going to see that here. Whatever it is
though, I'm stoked, and a little worried for Fenix. Not only is he not winning
this next match, he might be going for a little vacation. Mil tore him up in
Grave Consequences, and that was the mellower version of Mil apparently. If
Fenix gets out of this match not looking like a cross between the monster from
"Post Modern Prometheus" and the villain from Dune, I'll eat everyone's hat.
All Roads Lead to
Matanza
Man, for someone who we've never seen, Matanza is
everywhere. Which means he needs to be on my screen already! Okay I'm done with
that now. The general gist of this long segment was that Black Lotus has left
El Dragon Azteca to return to the Temple and kill Matanza(we see her walking
along the same railroad as Jack Bauer did at the end of 24's fourth season),
and Chavo Guerrero has now returned to help Azteca protect her. As long as Chavo's
past debts (hello Blue Demon Jr feud) are resolved by Azteca of course. Let me
just say, segments like this are exactly why the LU producers need to film a
Lucha Underground movie during one of the off seasons. Seriously, the show is
already heavily influenced by the conventions of the same Lucha films the
legendary El Santo used to do back in the day. Why not do one during hiatus
with Rodriguez directing it? You're telling me you aren't going to see it?
Please.
LADDER MATCH for the
Trios Championship
Ivelisse, Angelico
and Son of Havoc defeated The Crew
Well, this didn't disappoint did it? There was high flying,
there was Dario Cueto once again having someone break into his office, there
was the now annual Son of Havoc/Crew member spot that didn't go how it
should've, there was...there was a lot. I'm not sure this flowed quite as well
the previous match these two teams had, but there's no shame in that. The first
match between these teams was a masterpiece; so what if this one was just a
near masterpiece? The Crew did all the things The Crew did well (and man, how
about Cisco's suicide dive through Cueto's window? Epic!!!), Son of Havoc
bounced around like a pinball on a sugar rush, Dario Cueto stole the show yet
again on his acting alone and Ivelisse, bum leg and all, gutted it out with a
very courageous performance. That girl has got some guts. Oh, I almost forgot
about Angelico. What did he do again?
Stop it. JUST STOP IT! There's not enough Kenny "The
Jet" Smith at the NBA dunk contest quotes or Jim Ross reactions that can
properly describe the sickness that is Angelico. Holy shit, he did it again!
And dare I say even more impressively than the crossbody, a spot that I
considered to be the greatest spot in the history of the western hemisphere. Here's
the thing; this time around not only did Angelico have jump a good twenty plus
feet through the air (while taking a twenty foot drop), but he had to do it
while taking the brunt of the fall on his back and the back of his head. The
danger level was just as great as the crossbody, perhaps even more so. And yet,
he not only landed safely, HE HIT THE DROPKICK PERFECTLY! This kid is unreal;
not since Jeff Hardy before the drugs have I seen someone like this. What more
can you possibly say? All hail Angelico. And all hail his teammates too, who
get to continue being the most entertaining champions in wrestling today. As
for The Crew...I mean, maybe Matanza's rep is misleading? I'm just kidding,
they're screwed.
There you have it guys. Hope you enjoyed the episode, and
the night in wrestling overall. I'll be back later today with something, not
sure what yet. Till then, let's compare Angelico's dives. You know you
want to.
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Email Cult at fallenhero17@yahoo.com
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If I have to see more Daivari in an LU ring, it'll be a sad day.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with Daivari? He's not too bad.
DeleteI just think he, along with Texano, are two of the blandest guys in LU right now, and just don't fit with the overall presentation. Big Ryck vs. Texano is not going to be pretty either.
DeleteNothing Big Ryck does is pretty. I think you're being harsh on Daivari though. I've always found him talented. Just stuck in some terrible ass gimmicks. I agree he and Texano should stay away from each other; chemistry isn't working thus far. They're no Angelic, Havoc and Ivelisse.
Delete